Liveblogging Eurovision #12 (Azerbaijan)

Enough of the shrieking already, please. Also, why does the singer-dressed-as-the-devil seem to be gargling instead of singing? I don’t see much chance of the Azerbaijani national broadcaster being bankrupted next year.

Liveblogging Eurovision #11 (France)

Chivers? Is this a song about marmalade? Or is it about cheap Masterfoods-produced chocolate bars? Who can tell! Love the backing singers though – I might actually go and buy this.

Liveblogging Eurovision #10 (Ukraine)

Will probably do well in the gay nightclub scene. Otherwise forgettable. Starting to think that Croatia wasn’t as bad as all that, even if the lyrics didn’t survive translation.

Liveblogging Eurovision #9 (Georgia)

A Song with a Message, and they’re going to sing at us out of tune until we listen. Or change the channel. Also, sunglasses and a bad Hollywood cyberpunk aesthetic? Please, no. Oh I see, it’s a Bucks Fizz homage, but now they’re all wearing Things To Come-esque white (and the male backing singer is too porky for those pleats).

Liveblogging Eurovision #6 (Portugal and Latvia)

Portugal: dreary. It’s a good ballad, but I don’t think that it’s got enough energy to do well. Latvia: Unlike this – Hi-NRG camp pirates. Eurovision at its best, surely. Bosnia still has my vote though, followed by Turkey.

Liveblogging Eurovision #5 (Turkey)

: “blimey – this isn’t your standard Turkish entry” Four piece guitar band playing pop with Indie Rock sensibilities (or perhaps the other way around). A bit Kaiser Chiefs.

Liveblogging Eurovision #4 (Iceland)

Not bad at all – energetic dancey stuff (: “a bit of a camp torchsong ballad”) I now have a mental image of a puzzled Eurovision viewer saying “blood sweat and tears? does that make any sense in English?”