1. Finland. Ah, Finland, Finland, Finland. No pony trekking or camping, alas. Dull.
2. Bosnia and Herzegovina. First mandolin spotted. Also dull. Nowhere near as good as their 2008 entry.
3. Denmark. Boys does not rhyme with choice.
4. Lithuania. Having murdered an English lyric, she’s now working on the French. I cannot read her signing, but can only assume that it’s similarly challenged.
5. Hungary. Norton tells us that it’s described as retro-pop. Sounds ominous.
6. Ireland. I’ve never heard Jedward sing before. And thanks to a well-timed bedtime for the young lad, that record is unbroken.
7. Sweden. The 80s want their fashion sense back. A single glove? Really? Slightly creepy lyric in places (“my body wants you girl / I’ll get ya when I’m popular”)
8. Estonia. Poppy and fun, even if the lyrics are a little odd in places (“1273 down the Rockefeller Street”)
9. Greece. The University of Westminster’s finest? I feel that his rap is missing a letter. The remainder is passable, if bombastic.
10. Russia. It’s Wham! Oh, for pete’s sake – lyrics in txtspk? Actually quite fun.
11. France. Corsican lyrics! Very brave – they’d get my vote for this alone. Fantastic voice too.
12. Italy. I am liking this, despite the attempt to rhyme ‘disappear’ with ‘nostalgia’. That said, the song itself isn’t living up to the performance.
13. Switzerland. Competent pop song. Song is better than the singer – mike problem?
14. United Kingdom. Fuck me. A UK entry that’s not an embarrassment. They’re *actually good*.
15. Moldova. They appeared to have crossed the Beastie Boys with Devo with a klezmer band. Unbeatable. This may well get my vote – best so far.
16. Germany. Very good. But not necessarily Eurovision good.
17. Romania. Competent Eurovision song, but I don’t think that it stands out enough from the rest of the pack.
18. Austria. The song starts a cappella, but it’s engineered so that she can discreetly correct her pitch if necessary. Good overall.
19. Azerbaijan. Rather pleasant little song – sweet lyric, some good harmonies.
20. Slovenia. Meh.
21. Iceland. Quite charming, but also a slightly weak start.
22. Spain. Fun and energetic – this is what I’m looking for in my Eurovision entries.
23. Ukraine. More sand painting. Less singing. kthxbye.
24. Serbia. I like this. Quite apart from the fab duds, it’s a fun song, sung well.
25. Georgia. Clothes by Cyberdog? And she has 80s soft rock hair. And there’s rap too. Why not throw in some accordians and mandolins and try and cover all the bases?