As the fabulous
I’ve been mentally composing notices to put in newsagents’ windows, but they all come out something like “Affectionate yet neurotic, plaintive and incontinent adult cat to go to good home with ample opportunities for defecating and urinating on soft furnishings, beds and other objects of value. Potential owners must not mind the smell of cat drool, and should preferably be deaf. Extreme level of tolerance essential.”