As some of you may or may not know,
It is unsurprising that the following pre-dinner party questionnaire (seen on Jenn Manley Lee’s website – read her comic) struck a chord with me…
WHAT YOU EAT
Choose only one of the below:
- Omnivore (eat damn near anything or the-world-is-made-of-food)
- Carnivore (eat meat only)
- Herbivore/Vegan (eat plants only)
- Piscivore (eat fish only)
- Vegetarian (Limited Omnivore or a-herbivore-that-likes-dairy)
POLITICAL DIET LIMITATIONS
Choose as many that apply:
- Will eat GMO’s (If you know what GMO stands for, you know whether or not you eat them. If you don’t know, don’t worry about it.)
- List all foods currently boycotting (Be brand specific if necessary. Use
separate sheet if needed. Don’t list why.)
- Eat only Organic Foods (If the word “organic” doesn’t invoke an instant
definition then don’t worry about it.)
Intolerances and Allergies. (i.e. Lactose, gluten, peanuts)
List everything. Start with those things that could kill you. For just plain picky people this is a good area to list those foods you flat out just don’t like. If you are a recovering Alcoholic and can’t have alcohol even in your
food please list. Write on back if necessary.
Religious or fasting:
- Are you a practicing Catholic?
- Does the date fall during Lent?
- Practicing Jew?
- Do you eat pork?
- Are you fasting for any reason?
- Does the date fall during Ramadan?
Please write in any religious food restrictions not listed above.
Circle those you don’t want. Put stars by the ones you love. Ones with stars or left not circled need to have a an “AM” after them signifying Americanized or an “AU” signifying Authentic.
- Soul Food
- East Indian
- White Trash
- California Fusion
ON A DIET
Circle all that apply:
- Low Carb.
- High Carb.
- High Protein
- No Protein
- Meat only
- Deal-a-meal (bring your own cards)
- Calorie Counting
Choose one only:
- I like to eat alone.
- I don’t like assholes or bitches.
- I think assholes and bitches are just misunderstood little kids in grown up
- I don’t mind eating with groups of people as long as there are no surprise
guests that I haven’t been notified of.
- I like kids.
- I like kids but not while I’m trying to eat.
- I don’t like kids.
- I like people who talk constantly.
- I like quite, shy people.
- I’ll bring someone.
- Do you like to dress up?
- Do you hate to dress up?
- Does it really bother you to dress up and then end up watching Will and
Grace while drinking coffee at 8 o’clock at night?
- Does it bother you to wear sweats and end up drinking a hundred dollar
bottle of wine while discussing the finer points of Post-Modernism with a
- Do you have a hard time seeing in low light?
List all music you prefer not to hear or that you will make fun of.
- A date cemented in stone.
- A flexible date, penciled in and subject to change by the slightest whim or
- A date of your choosing.
- A date of my choosing.
- A suggestion that you can mull over and not get back to me until that
Please specify what makes you feel most comfortable:
- Should I ask you to bring something?
- If so, would you like it to be something you can buy at the store?
- Do you not like bringing something?
- Do you feel pressured to show up with a $15.00 bottle of wine?
- Do you like to cook and want at least one thing on the table you know you
Thanks for taking the time. This will help make the evening enjoyable