Dear Undergraduates…

Dear Undergraduates, It has come to my attention that many of you have chosen to celebrate the coming of autumn by donning unattractively formless sheepskin boots of the Ugg variety and shuffling around campus like a horde of denim-clad zombies. Perhaps you failed to read my previous missive on this subject? While I understand the need to keep one’s feet warm, might I suggest that your precious Uggs would last longer if a) you lifted your feet clear of the ground when moving your legs forward and b) you left the boots at home and wore some more sensible (and… Read More »Dear Undergraduates…

Random thoughts

In lieu of a proper post, some observations. Signs of Spring on Campus The campus is full of first-year geographers with theodolites (regular as clockwork, Thursdays in the second half of February every year). The area between the Staff Club, the Law building and the stream must be the most-surveyed part of Southampton (no mean feat, considering we’re the home of the Ordnance Survey). Students’ Union elections are upon us. Again. I amuse myself by playing spot-the-crypto-Nu-Labourite, and seeing if they’re at all distinguishable from the crypto-Young Tories. Sadly, the candidates are what you’d expect from a generation that were… Read More »Random thoughts

Destroy All Undergraduates! [1]

Dear undergraduates on the U1A bus to Wessex Lane, I couldn’t help but overhear your braying conversation at the bus stop and on the bus. Thank you for subjecting me to it. Lest you continue to behave like over-privileged, slack-witted Sloanes, may I offer the following observations: I’m glad that you found common ground in the fact that you both live in London near Victoria Line stations. It’s such a coincidence that one of you lives near Highbury and Islington, and the other lives near Walthamstow – there can be only 400,000 other people that could say the same. Alfred… Read More »Destroy All Undergraduates! [1]